you flew

[KHUDER_SA]

I took the risk and ran after you
I considered all the pains I’ll go through
But I thought It’s too soon
For me to be blue
Then the message of you
Came to ask me
To withdraw
To tell me Your dream has flown
And you have nothing to do
Except to chase her with your eyes
while she flies in the sky
But you stay where you are
And never do another try

[Angel]

Hi Khuder

To be honost, this's the best piece I ever read by you

Really touching

Thank you

[KHUDER_SA]

Angel

Your words like a golden crown has been put on my head, by a great person like you

Thank you I appreciate it.

[Sami96SA]

Khuder

I am not surprised as Angel saying this was the best you could come up with because I know you are able to produce better

It's a nice short-cut piece of message put in a splinded way .. poetic way


Read this again with me

I took the risk and ran after you
I considered all the pains I’ll go through


Something's wrong with the second line gramatically, what do you think it is


I didn't mean to criticise your writing but this one didn't sound right and I thought of letting you know about it


Thanks

--------------------

Sami

[KHUDER_SA]

Thank you Sami for alerting me with my mistake

I think it should have been this way

I considered all the pains I would have been through

I'm still not sure if it is the broken part of the statement or not
please let me have your advice

Thank you

[Sami96SA]

Hi Khuder

You picked the right verb tense to correct, but unfortunately, you still haven't corrected it right


You rewrote it this way

I considered all the pains I would have been through


It would be correct if you say it like this

I had considered all the pains I would have been through


but, I would write it like this

I considered all the pains I would be through

or better yet

I considered all the pains I would be going through




Thanks Khuder for allowing me to communicate with you in such a civilized way. Please remember that I am not a master in this, and I have my own deficiencies with English, so please don't hesitate to bring my attention to any errors you find in my writings


------------------

Sami

[ROMEO]

khuder

pal u really amazed me by such a talent u do have

keep it going Bro

[~*~Melody~*~]

Wonderful writing Khuder

Lovely in its simple rhyme and form


Keep it up


Thank you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~