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ãÔÇåÏÉ ÇáäÓÎÉ ßÇãáÉ : Test your writing skills



Sami96SA
30-07-2002, 08:48 AM
Good morning to you all


This is a topic I wish all members would take few minutes to participate in. I will do my part later


It's a question that you need to answer in your best way of expression to practice writing

In a paragraph or two, please tell us about how you spend your day, from the time you wake up until you go to sleep


I hope you don't have many grammer or spelling mistakes, and if you do, I will make sure that you know about them. Let's see how well you can do


I am waiting

---------------------

Sami

Angel
30-07-2002, 09:43 AM
Hello Sami

That is a nice topic, indeed

I will try my best to answer your question

___________________________

I would describe my day as it is during this period of time. With the heat of the summer and the sun blazing up high; and while I am staying in Riyadh and not going anywhere, I started a summer job. This job is all about brightening children's lives, children who have been touched by Cancer.

I work in the play room of a hospital. My job is to help the children to play with games and to learn the proper use colors and papers. I also do a round on the patients who are taking Chemo-Therapy for a couple of hours a day. Sometimes, I even help them study or teach them how to read as many of them are behind in their school work because of their illness.

ROMEO
30-07-2002, 10:05 AM
Hi sami
this is my participation (http://forum.dorarr.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2410)

Sami96SA
30-07-2002, 01:21 PM
Hello Angel

We should all be proud of you and what you're doing at the hospital for these children. I am sure you've got your hands full all day that makes you go direct to bed when you get home

Your piece is good and it doesn't have any errors. I have highlighted few notes as suggestions to make it a better read. I hope you don't mind


I would describe my day as it is during this period of time. With the heat of the summer (the summer heat) and the sun blazing up high; and while I am staying in Riyadh and not going anywhere, I started a summer job. This job is all about brightening children's lives, children who have been touched by Cancer

I work in the play room of a hospital. My job is to help the children to play (play) with games and to learn the proper use colors and papers (to teach them how to use the colors and papers properly). I also do a round on the patients who are taking Chemo-Therapy for a couple of hours a day (no need since you are describing your daily activities). Sometimes, I even help them study or teach them how to read as many of them are behind in their school work because of their illness



Thank you Angel for participating. I am counting on you in helping me and Romeo make this a distinguished Forum. You already have, and we are very appreciative of the work you have been doing
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Sami

Sami96SA
30-07-2002, 01:51 PM
Romeooo

That is an excellent piece, but since you chose to participate with it in this excercise, I have to mention that it does have some errors, actually a bunch of them

It is not clear as to what verb tenses you ought to be using all along, but because I had to realize what kind of love you were referring to, I corrected those which I though were wrong


You can find the corrected part here
(http://mypage.ayna.com/naseej8/Romeo.doc)
Thank you

--------------------

Sami

KHUDER_SA
31-07-2002, 11:19 AM
Hello Sami,
It’s a great idea but do we have to stick to the subject you recommended “Describing our activities during the day from the wake up time to the bed time”?

I noticed that neither Angel nor Romeo has adhered to that as Angel described her job’s duties and Romeo has referred to an old topic that’s of a romantic type..

As for my day, it’s starts with prayers for my dearest person to get recovered of his serious illness and it ends with wishes of seeing him alive the next morning.

I also spend part of my day thinking of the other person who recently entered my soul and became an essential part of it to the extent with which no one can distinguish if he is me or I’m him.

Sami96SA
31-07-2002, 01:04 PM
Khuder

Boy, am I glad to see you

No Khuder, you don't have to stick to the suggested question, and I should have noted it in topic


I am terribly sorry to hear that you have someone dear to you suffering from illness. I hope he recovers soon. Prayers are sometimes the last resorts we have to overcome obstacles in life, and we should never underestimate them. You're doing the right thing. May Allah bless you and your loved ones

On the contrary, I am glad to hear about your new soulmate. Life becomes more wonderful when we have special people in our daily lives

Do you want to talk more about the two people? That seems a good topic complying with what's requested here


Thanks for your input

------------------------

Sami

KHUDER_SA
31-07-2002, 02:02 PM
Sami

Thank you for your lovely greeting and your nice words about my loved people

In fact, yes I would talk more about these 2 persons in a separate topic in this forum later on.

But I was expecting you to highlight my writing skill rather than discussing the subject itself as you did with Angel and Romeo, isn't the intent of this exercise is to improve the writing skills of the participants

Sami96SA
31-07-2002, 07:56 PM
Khuder

I laughed at myself when I read your reply. I totally forgot to comment on your attempt. Maybe because I didn't take you seriously since I've known you for a long time as a person with great English skills

Ok. Let me see what you've got there


As for my day, it’s starts (it starts) with prayers for my dearest person to to get recovered of (recover from) his serious illness and it ends with wishes of seeing him alive the next morning

I also spend part of my day thinking of the other person who recently entered my soul and became an essential part of it to the extent with which (that) no one can distinguish if he is me or I’m him (between us)



Just minor notes. They are not errors, but makes it a better read


------------------

Sami

BackShadow
01-08-2002, 05:02 AM
Hi sami

thank u very much for this great subject



If i will talk about my regular days

i will say that it's like " SSDD "

it means " Same Shit Different Days "

Because i used to spend most of my days in the same way

waking up around 8:30 , riding my car to my office

after taking my newspaper ,

reading my daily newspaper while i drink my coffee ,

finishing some jobs or following up some qutations

that its allready made to some companies until 1:30

after that i return to my home

handling some junk food i used to eat

and around 4:30 i return back to my office

completing the same things that i started in the morning

meeting some peoples until 9:45

after that i goes to the coffee-net or to my home

or seeing some friends until around 2:00 am

after that i return to my home and sleeeeeeeeeeep

this is my ordinary days

of course there is many changes in some days

but i decided that i will show u the ordinary days

as i sayed before .



thanks again for ur subject

really this is the things that we need

to improve our skilles of reading and writing english



NOTE:

sorry for the writing mistakes

but i decided to write it without computer spell cheking

or grammer checking

because thats the way i will be better and improving my self :SMIL:




Best Regards

BackShadow

Sami96SA
01-08-2002, 10:34 AM
Mohammed

I don't need to thank you because you're part of this forum and your participation will only make it a success. Yes, it is a good excercise and only those who are willing to improve their writing skills will get the benefit.

You really have a very busy day, and I can't blame you for saying "I am busy most of the time". I read your paragraphs, and to be honest with you, I had to restructure some of it to make it a better read. Of course, my attempt to restructure it was only for you to see the difference. I hope you don't mind.

You can find it here (http://mypage.ayna.com/naseej8/shadow.doc)


Oh, there is one thing I want you to take note of, and that is when you use the verb return, you don't need to follow it with "back". Return back is not correct.

For example; I returned back home at 6. (wrong)

I returned home at 6. (is correcte)

because return means go back.


-----------------

Sami

ãáßÉ ÇáÈÍÇÑ
01-08-2002, 04:22 PM
ööAlslam 3laykom..

Hi all..

Dear brother sami
interesting topic
that kind and sweet of u

... Many thanks for thinking of us
... I wish you accept my love

---------------

in my summer every day is differs from other

tell you about Saturday For ex..

I get up at 9 clock
I help My mom ..
Any thing she wants me to do..

At 11 clock I do some exercise
To 1 clock

After it the time of lunch
Then Sleep a little

At 4 clock I take English lesson
After lesson
I be Freeeeee like a bird
go to shopping or online
go to friends or grandfather
Read book or play
Any thing I wanna

:)This one wonderful day in my world
----------------

I know I work bad but I don’t care
;)Cause This is only way to learn English>>"practice”





take care all

Sami96SA
01-08-2002, 11:56 PM
Hanan

Thank you for being with us in this excercise. Your day is a busy one, and I am impressed that you excercise for two hours everyday. This definitely is unique and inspirational for the rest of the girls.

I couldn't just highlight your mistakes because your attempt required lots of restructuring. I have done it for you and I want you to read it and see if it reads better


For me everyday is a different day in the summer. On Saturday for example; I wake up at 9 to start helping my mother with anything she asks me to do. My exercise starts from 11 o’clock and ends at 1 o'clock which is already lunch time. Then, I take my nap until 4 pm followed by my English lesson, after which I will be free like a bird to go shopping sometimes or just sit on the computer to surf the net. Other times, I arrange to see my friends, visit my grandfather, read a book, or just play around at home. This is normally my wonderful Saturday



As you said, you should always try to write and never worry about mistakes

----------------------

Sami

BackShadow
06-08-2002, 06:37 AM
Hi sami

I returned to this subject to participate again

I will write again but in another way

------------------------

Most of my days seems to be the same ,


for example :

I wake up around 8:30 , take a quick shower ,

then i goes to my office .

In my office i am used to reed a newspaper while having my morning coffee , after that i perform the daily tasks like follow up some qutations and think about new projects to my center .

I returned home arount 2.00 PM and have my lunch , then take a rest until 4.30 pm , and returned to my office to complete the same things that i started in the morning .

I left my office around 9.45 to see some of my friends or to go to my home to watch TV or to post in some subjects in DORARR forums , then i goes to my bed and sleeeeeep .


Thanks alot

hope this time better that the previuse one .


Best Regards to u


Mohammed

Sami96SA
06-08-2002, 01:48 PM
Mohammed

Your second attempt is much better than the first one. I have few comments to make though

When you use (i), always write it in capital letter

Make sure you maintain the same verb tense in your story according to the events told

The pronoun [I] is singular and therefore you should not add s to the verb following [I], for example, I go, not I goes


I have made minor corrections to your attempt and you can find it here (http://mypage.ayna.com/naseej8/Shadow2.doc)


Regards

and thank you for practicing

-------------------

Sami

ãáßÉ ÇáÈÍÇÑ
10-08-2002, 09:57 PM
Hi Sami
Many thanks dear
:)Okay brother I will rewrite but in another way like shadow

.............................. .............

.My weekends are fast and enjoy
. My weekdays are busy
.I get up at 9.00 I make breakfast Then I go to the gym
. On Sunday I go shopping
On Tuesday I **** dinner but not every day because I Don’t like *****ng ..Fortunately my mother is *****ng always
.On Thursday I visit my grandfather
On weekends I usually relax but sometimes I visit friends.
Usually on Friday I go out



.............................. .............

your sister

Sami96SA
12-08-2002, 10:14 AM
Hanan

Thank you for revisiting and trying to practice

First of all, you should know that to practice writing, you have to adhere to some of the writing rules; one of them is to write in paragraphs, not a sentence in each line

Let's first put it all together

My weekends are fast and enjoy . My weekdays are busy. I get up at 9.00 I make breakfast Then I go to the gym. On Sunday I go shopping. On Tuesday I **** dinner but not every day because I Don't like *****ng ..Fortunately my mother is *****ng always .On Thursday I visit my grandfather. On weekends I usually relax but sometimes I visit friends
Usually on Friday I go out


If I would write it, it would be like this


My weekend goes fast because it is enjoyable and relaxing especially on Friday when I get to see my friends or just go out. I visit my grandfather on Thursday. I get so busy during my weekdays. I get up at 9, make breakfast, then I go to the gym to practice. On Sunday, I normally go shopping, and on Tuesday I **** dinner. I don't **** everyday because I hate *****ng and my mother
fortunately ****s for us.


Generally, you did better than last time. Keep up practicing and someday you will not need anybody to correct your writings for you


--------------------

Sami