Nigeria Airways
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Boniface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery
This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed , but we will end up somewhere in the South. If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us
It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an uprightposition for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ... and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase
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About the wives
A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wifelooks over at a nearby table and sees a drunken man.
the husband asks "I notice you have been watching that man for some time now, do you know him?" "Yes" she replies. "That is my ex-husband and he has been drinking like that since I left him two years ago".
"that is remarkable" the husband replies "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long".
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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة the 1 and only
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